I can’t talk to you because I can’t.
I can’t talk to you because I just spent the last twenty years practicing the art of letting go.
I can’t talk to you because for two decades I learned how to detach myself from people, places and things as a way to protect myself from getting hurt.
I can’t talk you to because for too long I have been too good at allowing people, places and things to slide into and out of my life in a way that can only be described as effortless.
I did that for more than twenty years and I got real good at it.
I did it and I knew that it was harmful to everyone and everything involved and while I tried to minimize the damage, I wasn’t able to eliminate it…and then in January something shifted.
In January I turned a corner and I bought this house and I began to settle into the idea that I can end the cycle and I can learn to attach in healthy ways.
In January I got a little closer to me and as time has marched on I feel like I’m a little closer every day to letting one more person, or one more thing, or one more place into who I am.
It’s where I’m at and because I’m here, I need to be here by myself and I need to keep some stuff out because some of the stuff has the capacity to draw me right back into those old habits and that’s not good for anybody.
Getting shut out is a bummer and it usually comes without explanation or perspective. I think that makes it suck even more. Everyone is suffering. Everyone is experiencing things that are uncomfortable. Everyone is also pursuing their happiness. It’s important not to stand in the way of that.