Is this fear? Is this inability to feel grounded some manifestation of anxiety? Is the failure to comprehend the widespread suffering that is unfolding in real time before my eyes a byproduct of my own insecurity?
Is it?
I am not overtly worried. I do not believe that I am going to die from any kind of contraction of this virus.
And yet I am out of words. I cannot collect my thoughts in a way that makes sense to me. I cannot slow my brain down enough to gather any of conception as to what is actually taking place. Students are at home and will be away from their places of learning for the foreseeable future. My neighbors and friends are being laid off without pay. The services I have come to know as common place are evaporating.
This is now. People are being told to stay home. Our leaders in government are suggesting we isolate.
Unreal. Surreal. Economic fallout that has never been seen before.
This is where we are and while my brain is operating in overtime, I am trying my best to stay grounded and be present to myself and my dog and the people in my immediate circle. I have not done a good job of reaching out to the second ring or the third or so on. I am doing my best though and I am trying to show up as empathetic and considerate of those who’s paths I do cross.
I’m going to work. I’m showing up for my employees. I am channeling my brain directly to my heart and I am listening to both. I am here. In this. I am available, as an ear and as a sounding board.