Not today. Maybe some other day, but not today. It’s just not gonna work. Apathetic irrelevance. I’m not in a bad mood, I simply don’t care and I don’t care in that Nihilist sort of way except it’s magnified and it’s awful and it feels terrible and I don’t care and I don’t want to. About anything. The dog is barfing and I haven’t seen the kids and everyone is getting there stimulus checks and I’m not because I haven’t done my taxes because I get fucked on my taxes because of the choices I’ve made and I’m over it today. Maybe tomorrow will be different, but for today I’m not interested. I’m tired and my teeth are cracked and the dentist’s office exists in some fairy tale land where nothing costs money. Fuck it. Fuck today. Fuck the whole thing. And to be clear, I’m not interested in pity or sympathy because I don’t give a fuck about that either. Not today. It’s just not gonna work and I get to do that because I’m 42 years old and I get to do whatever I want and today I want to not give a fuck because this room smells like barf and the dog is probably dying and I just don’t care.