Get up at 3:00am and check the work email. Roll over and respond in eleven parts. Double check for spelling. Triple check. Send. Reread and find the error. Skipped an ‘R’. Not a huge deal and shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone reading this. Now I’m awake though and it’s still dark outside and somehow it’s still winter and I’m still isolated from my family. It’s not like they sleep in my bed and I don’t really ever see them at 3:00am, but the reality still lingers that I can’t see them because of distancing and isolation. It’s odd that it’s mandated now because I feel like I’ve been self-isolating for years because I’m some kind of urban hermit. This winter though. Not ending. Temps in the teens and it’s April and the little green shoots are shooting up. It should be warmer. It could be warmer. It could be. I could also not have this cough if I didn’t smoke so many cigarettes and then I probably wouldn’t think I have this virus every time, but the cessation hasn’t happened yet because the cigarettes falsely resolve the stress that’s manifested by my own worry and my own anxiety and it’s all just a crutch that I don’t really need but secretly just want because I enjoy it even though I fully acknowledge it’s kinda gross. That plus words and the National playing just above my head is the real time play by play. Covered up in a wool blanket with pillows covered in little anchors. Nothing but darkness around me. And a dog that snores. I didn’t even light the incense for this version. Conference call in five hours. Can somebody throw me a life preserver? I don’t think I’m drowning, but I sure would like to get off this boat ride.