10.15.23

There was a time when you were getting dressed, before the time you left as the sun was coming up, that I remember you saying something about missing the train. I don’t recall the events that led up to your statement, but I do recall you noting some very specific details about the train. Now, so we’re all clear on this, you had never expressed any kind of interest in trains prior to this and, as is noted in the history books, the trains had never been mentioned during any of our conversations, either positively or negatively. The whole thing left me baffled.

— stop —

A bookstore. A coffee shop. A ten dollar tip.

A bike ride. A cityscape. A forty dollar bag of groceries.

To whom do I owe this debt and to whom shall I pay my respects? An orange. An Apple. A piece of banana bread. These are the things that pile themselves up in my mind as I make my way from adult to child and back again.

— stop —

Forgive me, for I’ve lost my way. I got sidetracked in the scroll and I lost myself wondering about why it was that I had walked away. I saw the posts about the rocks and all the smiley folks circling their way from the start to the end. I read the reports about the happy family that has done so much and how everyone is living their best moment. I saw it and I lived it and so often I find myself walking right back into it.

It’ll catch you if you’re not careful. It’ll eat your brain and leave you for dead.

Meditate. Stop and breathe. Stop and focus. Repeat after me…

I’m sorry

Please forgive me

Thank you

I love you