04.24.21

I moved the plants around today in an effort to resurrect one of them. Also, the fence appears to be holding back those that shall not enter the yard. If only Doug knew they weren’t coming back. The walk was nice. Took the path the kids know. All the sights were sighted and then the sun came out. Porch life happened and hours worth of chill were entertained. East. West. Wind.

04.23.21

Over under and around the outside. It’ll never make sense to anybody but me and that’s the ways it’s going to be. Facts. Walls up. Lawn mowed. One day with a tailwind and the next in the opposite direction. Work harder. Sleep less. Push yourself until you’re asleep standing up. Never mind the vacation. Never mind.

04.22.21

The blue wall of silence has met the solid wall of sound and all the goons are checking their guns at the door. The lyrics help where the words fall short, but it’ll be the action that really paints the pictures that’ll hang in those museums of the future.

We’re gonna get there if we keep pouring into the streets. We’re gonna get there if we keep knocking on those doors. We’re gonna get there if we keep acknowledging things done well. We’re gonna get there when we can truly identify we. We are.

04.20.21

After a bit of a rest, I am back to give this another go. It’s funny how the habit of writing can just slip away.

More soon.

02.10.21

I am not the same person I was:

2 months/years/decades ago

Everything is different now.

02.09.21 pt. 2

Tacos in a mansion and some ham salad on the run. Eat dinner around a spool and get thrown out accordingly. Look backward. Look forward. Everything is irrelevant.

Things are settled now. Settled down. Settling down.

Moved in. Lamps assembled. Chairs arranged. It’s the memories that get sorted in the evenings after work. The cowboy hat on the wall. The creativity spoiling in the fridge. Television minus politics and an abundance of time.

There’s no excuse for the excusing. There’s no arrangement for the arranged. There’s no explanation for the explained.

Drawings on the bathroom wall and some old home movies in the tray underneath the tv. Life was a bit more simple before. It may be again. It may be already.

02.09.21

Tuesday morning quiet dining room. Coffee in the cup and a yogurt down the hatch. The trash is out. The recycling is tidy. Soft light and a fake fireplace. It’s cold outside, but warm in the mind and the body and the soul. How can I help? How can I be of assistance? It’s the fastest way out of self and self is a fiery sea of fear and insecurity and resentment and ego. I cannot reside there, in a boat adrift in that sea. It’s a death trap. A suicide wrap. Better get out while we’re young.

02.08.21

Yelling into a void makes no sense.

Repeating oneself over and over and over again makes no sense.

Believing that any amount of experience is a catalyst to upend ego is actually just ego at work.

Let everything go and just breathe.

02.04.21

One of the things I hold closest to my heart as I think about the time that I spend with my kids is the way the three of us can collectively descend into these bursts of tear inducing laughter. It’s real neat.

02.02.21

I had a feeling that once I landed in this new house I would be flooded with emotions and as a result a whole bunch of words would just dump out of me.

I was wrong.

They’re definitely banging around inside my brain, but they appear real slow to emerge.

That said, I did cry last night or the night before. That was some version of words leaving my body. I failed to capture them and I think that’s okay.

Onward. To be continued.

01.30.21

Just ahead of hitting that Richard Petty milestone, I made it. I made it into a space of my own and with that comes all of the responsibilities that typically attach themselves to homeownership.

It’s gonna be a little difficult. It’s also gonna be a little great. The kids are asleep right now and we all have a ton of work to do today, but we’re gonna do it and we’re gonna keep moving forward because it’s what we do.

I am stoked. Real stoked.

01.29.21

Today is the day. It’s been six years since I’ve stayed with my kids in a space that isn’t borrowed. Tonight that changes…along with almost everything else.

Hello, Minneapolis.
Hello, new me.